鴉PieFedwhat's something from your job that could kill a horror movie monster/villain?
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As a machinist a lathe is the first thing that comes to mind, you get some clothing or even a rope caught in the wrong place and it'll eat you alive
Yes.
I work in a hospital so: scalpels, oxygen bottles/ wall supply explosions (hard to do without disabling the safety's which I don't know how to do), plenty of radiation sources in the building, loads of dangerous drugs from sedatives to painkillers to chemotherapy. If I'm lucky the monster might just die of MRSA or pneumonia before they get to me.
Client feedback.
I'm imagining the villain putting a gun to his head because of a one-star review.
Beating a villian through cyberbullying would be one of the funnier ways to win
That's the gist of what we're doing to Elon these days. In case you weren't aware, read up on how his PoE livestream went.
What is PoE
Usually: Power over Ethernet
In this context: Path of Exile
Was that one the "she never loved you and you will die alone" one?
Ya I just haven't seen it in a movie yet
I hope it'll be in a documentary one day.
I wanna see this venture bros episode
I could bore him to death with Teams meetings.
I work at a tool store and often fantasize about a zombie apocalypse or something starting while I'm at work. Should fit this situation, so let's go! If it happens in... Aisle 1: dual wielding a drill and heatgun Aisle 2: dual wielding circular saw and angle grinder Aisle 3: put on safety goggles, strangle them with AirTool hoses Aisle 4: dual wielding air nailers! Aisle 5: giant wrench Aisle 6: screwdriver to the face Aisle 7: steel automotive jack handles Aisle 8: wench snare traps everywhere Aisle 9: pickaxe Aisle 10: generator fumes Aisle 11: tumbling tower of tires Back wall: hammers!
Almost like that weapons museum in one of the john wick movies
Feels like my local Harbor Freight...
If there's one thing I've learned from horror movies it's that unless you have some weird satanic ritual, nothing can stop the bad guy.
But also, I'm a janitor at McDonald's; I could probably slow them down with soapy water or even just leaving the floor oily. I doubt they wear non-slip shoes. Pull some Scooby Doo shit, slick up the floor, Jason comes after me and slides into the freezer, which I then lock.
Does it necessarily need to be the tools of your specific job? You might not use the deep fryer in the execution of your personal duties, but it is at your job and, I imagine, could have an impact if you could get your opponent to it. (Perhaps even combining it with your previously mentioned strategy.)
I was just assuming the fryer or other actual weaponry (like knives) wouldn't do any lasting damage to the supernatural horror pursuing me. But Home Alone style mayhem would be fun. Incorporate the grills, the fryer, etc into a Rube Goldberg machine of pain.
You could Rorschach them with 🍟
I was a manager at our student union building in college, very occasionally I had to go to the back of the food court since I had the magic keys and all. The shear amount of oil coating the floor after mopping in the Sonic area made me never want fast food again. I had non slip shoes and it was still like walking on ice.
The autopsy saw. It's a gleaming monstrosity of stainless steel designed to part human flesh like Moses parted the red sea. You can stack zombies as deep as you want, the saw won't even slow down. The only thing that will stop it is the length of the mechanical arm it hangs from, because it's unfortunately too heavy for most people to lift.
Marketing strategy powerpoints
Recently retired from a place that makes rocket engines, and there's just so much. Start with a rocket engine itself - the combustion gasses are like 3300 C (6000 F) with more than 400,000 lb of thrust. But there's a lot associated. We dealt with lots of liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen. We have a giant braze oven that we can put a whole rocket nozzle into. It's quite an arsenal.
I'm an auto mechanic, honestly like 80% of the things I touch every day could kill most things if applied properly.
Thinking about reach and convenience from my toolbox, I'm thinking the 5' steel prybar (effectively a 10 lb baseball bat with a sharp tip) or the cv axle I took out earlier. Honorable mention to one of a variety of possible chemical attacks or just straight up dropping a car on it.
Carpal tunnel slasher can't hold a knife
Most of my tools could - just a matter of how many swings it would take. Running them over with my work truck would probably be the quickest and chainsaw the messiest.
But which one would be the most satisfying?
Zip tying their hands behind their back and handing them over to the police, I guess.
Nail gun lobotomy? Or maybe that was my band name in the 00's. I don't remember for some reason.
Graphic Designer so maybe if it was a lawnmower man situation
I might be able to trick an AI into a paradox situation if I'm lucky, but that's all I got.
"If you only told lies how would let me know you believed it to be opposite day?"
You could definitely kill a villain with my laptop, if you fired it with sufficient force from a cannon.
Crushing depression.
Although that’s not really for my job since I don’t have one.
I work in a restaurant, so... garlic?
I wanna see you with an electric cake mixer and a determined expression.
all day err day, bby
Vampire is the garlic bit
Zombies... Off with their head
Gas/pressure cooker explosion, divert or bust lines to flood the freezer, I know industrial dough mixers can really ruin you
TPS report cover sheet.
I'm unemployed rn so uh, some dab wax?
Going for a home alone style thing huh
A server rack full of servers, dropped on the monster like a cartoon piano.
Don't need to drop the rack, the monster will be sliced to ribbons on the aluminum razor blades the rack is made from
I work at a bowling alley with a bar, so there’s quite a few ways.
I commute, so train?
I work with IT but in a meat processing plant, the giant saw that cuts pigs in half would certainly do it. Even though all of the slaughtering and butchering have been dismantled many years ago due to cutbacks, it would be a very good location for a horror movie or an augmented reality experience or something like that, it's almost like everyone just up and left.
Well, I work with IT, Ships, and industrial robotics, so I'm thinking that the villain gets maimed by a robot controlled by a perl script to the point where he is unable to prevent his ship from sinking.
EDIT: Oh, and don't gets me started on the seismic source: 4000 cubic inches of compressed air at 2000psi. Seismic sources are scary. In water ut will turn anyone in yhe water into jell-o. I've coordinated these with simultaneous diving ops, and the divers usually call us to stop if they're within 3-4 kilometers.
The cardboard crusher probably, just have to tip them over the edge. Puts them nicely in 1.5x1.5x1m cubes
I would print out the code and Rube Goldbergian series of database triggers that run some of our internal apps; to the untrained mind, it would probably have an effect similar to looking into Medusa's eyes.
Suffering through eight straight hours of „business alignment workshops“.
I could mistranslate an MRI manual and they could fry themselves to death?
There is usually an alligator or two (or three, or..) in the pond by my work. They definitely get big enough to kill a villain before anyone bothers calling to have them relocated.
Lock them in the server room for a few days, maybe hypothermia?
From what I've seen, airplane crashes can be pretty fatal!
The printing press. The monster's blood would be spread out over 70000 newspapers.
What's black and white and red all over?
Would be an interesting way to spread a vampire curse
In the words of James Bond:
The elevators that always breakdown. They were doing a repair today and knocked out power to the whole building.
My mind immediately goes to the resident evil movie elevator scene...
I work from home...
Best I got is an old fashioned paper cutter that looked way too heavy duty.
Cue the scene from The Faculty where the bad boy twists off the blade of that thing.
I have several 300 gallon mixers at work, and a QA lab. If the mixer won't do the job, I'll just pour acids in until it is reduced to soup.
Then I'm fleeing the country because maintenance will make the eldrich horror look like the easy choice.
There’s a kid I work with that is going to end up stabbing me with a pencil. He’s gotten pretty close a few times.
The lab closet when I was teaching science might have worked. The stuff you let kids work with is as close to water as you can make it, but the stuff for demos could easily take out a Jason or a Freddy.
An industrial wood chipper (used in saw mills). The disc is 5' 6", holds 6 x 18" knives and can chip an 8' x 15" diametre log in about 1 to 2 seconds.
It is deadly as they come.
I have a stack of planer blades at home and even turned one into a rough machete
How many painkillers does it take to kill someone? I reckon we have enough for that at work
100' fall into the middle of an arena.
I work as a concert high rigger.
School supplies can be pretty dangerous when used incorrectly. :3
One of those paper cutters with the blade arm would be a good go to
Guillotine
The contents of the fridge
Probably busbar running at 6 to 10,000 amps. DC power.
Stage engineer: Fly system.
Thanks for this. It led me to a super interesting Wikipedia article on it.
Doldrums
Lock that fucker in the burnout oven and see how long they exist at 800°F (~426°C)
Probably all the knives and the room full of people who spend 8 hours a day cutting things to bits with them. After a while, you get pretty good at finding where to cut through joints, so it doesn't take all that long.
Really big laser - meant for cutting through thick steel, could probably slice most monsters Bond-villain style.
A germy child that sneezes on its face. Teaching is a constant state of protecting yourself from biological warfare.
Outright? Probably not a much, but I could definitely yank some wires or disable some safeties that would do the job with a little encouragement.